Paper Cuts Hurt

I haven’t made the time to blog so here goes yet another survey. I think I am now officially serving one reader a day! Not bad for not blogging
Have you ever made out in your room?
never.

Be honest, who called you last?
My love, Danny.

Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Closed, it bothers me when it’s opened.

Did anyone see your last kiss?
Not that I know of.

Do you drink tea?
Yes I do but no more than coffee

Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Of course.

Do you have plans for tomorrow?
Work ’till 4pm then hang out with Danny’s mom.

What’s worse: dry skin or chapped lips?
Chapped lips. I can’t stand it.

Would you be surprised if your parents had another baby together?
LOL, utterly surprised.

Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation?
I live in California, so I would go to Canada ehhy!

Do you want to get married?
I sure do!

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
Pajama pants with printed letters across the butt area “chill out”

So, what if you married the last person you called?
I am happy to announce that I am going to marry the person that I last called =]

Last person you told a secret to?
Danny.

Has anyone cried on your shoulder recently?
Not really.

What are you listening to at the moment?
The T.V.

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
On the couch, momentarily.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Danny.

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
There is God’s love, primarily. Then Danny ♥ and others.

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them?
Many LOL

Be honest, who is the easiest person in your life to talk to?
Danny.

Your ex says they never even liked you, you say?
Well, I don’t have an EX. But if I did then I’d say “glad we’re not together.”

Have you ever taken someone back after they hurt you?
I have.

Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
Yes.

Are relationships ever really worth it?
There is a limit.

When was the last time you were in a very good mood?
Today.

Were you single last summer?
Nope.

Do you like thunderstorms?
I do if I know I’ll be okay and not driving.

What’s the weather like outside?
It’s a little warm.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now
It looks like it.

Do you believe in love?
Of course I do… how else would I know God?

When was the last time you saw your father?
Almost over a year… Wow, it’s been a while.

Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
Biblical wise is you reap what you sow.

When did you last hold hands with someone?
Sunday for morning prayer.

Are there any memories you’d like to forget?
Not really.

Is there someone you’d really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
Always.

Have you ever been called prince or princess?
Yes.

Do you think teenagers can be in love?
“In Love” — yes.

How fast does your mood change?
It depends.

Do you have any condoms in your room?
Not at all.

Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you?
Of course there are.

Do you need to say anything to someone?
I do.

Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
I do… =] My first kiss ever.

How are you feeling?
Tired.

Do you want someone to call you right now?
Without a doubt.

What do you always take with you?
Phone, purse with money, cell phone, and keys.

Have you ever been kissed on the neck?
I love it ;]

Do you feel you’ll ever get back together with your first love?
I am…

Is your bed comfortable?
I can’t complain.

Tell me the truth, why did you fall in love with the last person that you did?
Everything about him, initially. I won’t go into details, you might fall in love too. ;]

Would you say your a understanding person?
At some point. I don’t understand women who act like little girls. I don’t understand, nor do I try to understand immature people that have gone through a rough patch in their lives yet fail to grow up. I don’t understand how some people fail to acknowledge good advice and end up messing up theirs lives knowing there was help… ’nuff said.

Would you date someone taller than you?
A must!

If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back?
Wow, well it’s a tough one. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Love means forgiveness as well. I hope I am never faced with this situation at hand.

How many people have you completely fallen for?
Completely… Only God.

Summer

It’s not hot.

It’s not cold.

It’s perfect!

God is making it so easy for me because Lolita doesn’t supply air conditioning and summer requires it for basic survival. So far the window half way down does the job! I’m so in love!

It’s crazy! I think of God and all I can do is SMILE!

I’m working on a few posts but I haven’t finished them so I will soon post them, fingers crossed.

I haven’t blogged in a week. I’ve been working six days a week and I have Tuesday’s off. What do you do on a Tuesday? Odd day off but a blessing!

Today God blessed me. He blesses me everyday but today He blessed me with a surprise!

I just want to let others know that He does provide when you hold on to faith!

Have a great week!

How The Day Sounds

I’ve been listening to some pretty good music lately. I can admit I am proud of myself! Greg Laswell’s music has absolutely caught my attention though. His music is catchy yet meaningful. I ran across this song called How The Day Sounds and I have really liked it so much that I play it repeatedly. Enjoy the video!

A Questionnaire

My trip to Santa Cruz- Spring Break

Do you enjoy going through the car wash?
Well in the beginning I would feel like I was going to die because I felt I couldn’t breath (Claustrophobia). Now, I like it if I take someone with me to take the focus off it!

What do most people know your for?
The coffee girl, lol.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
Eww.. No, I haven’t.

What was the reason you last received flowers?
Mmm Danny just spontaneously gave my a bouquet, I miss that…

Did the last person you kissed have tattoos?
The last person I kissed happens to have no tattoos.

Name some things you would never tolerate in a relationship?
Infidelity.

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
I sure can. It’s just not my thing.

Do you like sushi?
Sushi… I like I like.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
No I haven’t.

Is it easy for you to accept loss?
To accept loss? Loss in friends, money, job… it’s all a different level and accepting the loss of each one is a different reaction.

Did you do any sports when you were little?
Housekeeping (LOL)

Does it annoy you when people play dumb?
Yes it absolutely does, depends on the situation though.

Have your past mistakes made you wiser?
They do…

Do you hate to hug people?
It depends. Lol, I just don’t hug anyone… and I’m sorry, stinky people I can’t hug for too long.

Do you look at old pictures of yourself and laugh?
Lol. I do…

What is weighing you down currently?
Not too many things.

When was the last time you felt like just disappearing?
Sometime last week…

Would you rather die from eating Kleenex or eat your own dog alive?
I wouldn’t want to die in either of those ways!

When you sleep on your bed, is stuff usually on it?
Lol, when I’m tired, yes.

Do you take any sleeping pills?
Nope.

Do you ever think about an old flame?
Danny has been my only flame.

Do you miss anyone?
You have no idea…

Have you ever been called a slut?
Wow, I hope not. I sure haven’t gave them a reason to.

Do you think somebody’s in love with you?
I know Danny is!

Do you ever think about sex with your ex?
???

Is it easy to make you cry?
When I’m frustrated anything can make me cry. Other than that, I don’t think so.

How do you feel when someone kisses you on your forehead?
Depends who it is… either way, I feel its a sweet/ tender gesture.

Are you the same person you were a year ago?
I’m stronger.

Do you hate little people?
Little people? Kids? I love kids!

Do you tell people you’re okay when you’re really not?
Most times but I’m not hard to read.

Have you ever felt worthless?
A few moments in life I have but God has always lifted me up.

What are you planning on doing after this survey?
Watch the movie and sleep.

Next time you will kiss someone?
October?

Would you ever be a stripper?
No!

What is bothering you right now?
Not being able to see Danny in the summer.

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
My mommy and Danny.

Did you cry today?
No.

What are you excited about?
Texas trip this month.

Are you a good person?
Not really…

Do you easily get jealous?
If there is a reason to be jealous then I do…

Plans for tomorrow?
The gym and work.

Who were the last people you ate with?
Carmen, Maribel

Do you wish someone would turn up at your front door right now?
Not really.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Work and work.

What’s with you and the last person you kissed?
He is my fiance.

What time did you wake up this morning?
I was awake since foreverrr…

Do you like to cuddle/snuggle?
I do…

Enjoy! Fill it out yourself!

June, Already?

A bird

We are in June already… I didn’t feel it go by.

Six months into the year and next thing you know we’ll be celebrating Christmas! It feels strange enough that I’m getting married! Ok, not strange, just exciting! It’s amazing what has happened in six months. I’m happy to see what God has in store for me. I feel like through the days I fall deeper in love with God and with that come trials that make it hard to see the truth.

Hopefully in a few months I get what I’ve been really longing for… I’ll let you know once it comes closer. It’s one step higher that comes with more responsibility. I’m praying for it and hoping that God opens up the doors. For some it will be a surprise, for others it will be an already known fact.

By now, I do have a darker tan compared to last year! Yes, it’s uneven, marking my driver’s arm to be darker and my right hand side to be albino lol, but I’m getting there! Lolita (car) isn’t equipped with air conditioning therefore with this California summer heat; it is a painful drive getting anywhere! Oh, the college days!

This month I am going to Texas! I have been ministering to my childhood friend this past month and I can see a great hunger and desire for the word of God. After encouraging words and prayer, I decided to invite her to Christ for the Nations event. She accepted! Yesterday Stephanie and I bought the plane tickets! She seems to be more excited about this whole trip than I am! I can’t wait to see what God will do in her life throughout this time!

Also, this summer I will be working from six to seven days a week! That means two things: overtime (waaaahooooo) and it means no social life (no big deal, I twitter!).

For these next six months I am expecting great things. Change, change, change, in every area of my life and yes “be careful what you ask for”. I’m holding on to God and it couldn’t get any better. I thank Him for a great fiancé who loves me in all areas. I have a family who is supportive and friends who are a blessing to my life.

What are you expecting in these next few months?

Now I Know

There are always two sides to a story. One of the sides is yours, the other side is theirs. It is as simple as that.

I remember exactly how I felt as I was getting on that Greyhound to California: I was scared, nervous, and unsure. I remember exactly thinking/ hoping that my mom wouldn’t come just in time to find me; she didn’t. The twenty-three hours spent on that bus were full of  pain knowing that my mom was left behind with only a note from me. During that time I only imagined her reaction but I never dared to measure her pain.

As many times as I’ve told my side of the story here, in this post, I am writing what I finally realized from her story.

Almost two years have passed since that day and I am finally beginning to understand the pain she may have gone through when I left. What got me to this point was a similar situation that made me realize the other side of the story. My mom and I were talking a few weeks ago of when I had ran away. After all this time, we are now finally able to talk about it freely without remorse or making each other feel odd. My mom told me what she had told others to keep my testimony clean. Although I had made the decision to leave and hurt my mom in the deepest most painful ways, she made sure my testimony as a cell group leader was clean.

I can only imagine the tears falling from her face. I can only imagine the thoughts running through her head. I can only imagine the questions she had to put aside because there was no answer. I can only imagine the pain penetrating her heart. She had to be strong and tell others I went on vacation to California. After knowing that I would not return, due to constant asking from others, my mom told them I had found a job in California and decided to stay.

I was a coward for not keeping my word from the note I left her because I knew I didn’t want to hear her cries and questions. I didn’t call her when I arrived to California as I had promised I would. During the weeks after my leaving, there was no communication. She was hurt and I didn’t blame her. We were finally able to talk though it was nothing but negative conversations and endless disagreements. It took a strong woman like my mom to get through such a painful and sour experience in life.

Since then I was more focused on my side of the story than hers. I knew I was hurt, I knew I was tired, I knew I was doing the “right thing”, but I never knew how much she had to go through. My mother is now becoming one of my best friends. I smile as I write this because we have both been through a lot together and away from each other. I have yet to learn more of this amazing woman and am eager to learn how to be strong like her. Though at times we have our quarrels and arguments, I’ve learned that every relationship will have a few bumps in the road before they learn to compromise. I have not covered all there was to her side of the story because I am not her and don’t exactly know what she was feeling. Though now I know just enough to see her side.

Te amo, Mama.